I can' t stand my husband. I'm extra snippy and in the annoyed "you just don't understand" phase. I feel like a total a**hole sometimes because despite his patience and sense of humor toward my pregnancy craziness, sometimes I just can't stand him! But things in my marriage have disintegrated rapidly. While many troubled marriages can be saved, some spouses decide its better to end the marriage instead of fighting one more battle. I would even suggest talking with a third party if things get worse. Press J to jump to the feed. We strive to provide you with a high quality community experience. I always do laundry so lately Ive been telling him to do laundry when I want to relax so hell do laundry but then sometimes leave a basket or two unfolded or fold the kids clothes and then not put them away or instruct our 6 year old to put his away. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. Whether you are a new parent or pregnant, if you have any concerns or questions about your relationships with your partner or other family members, you can discuss them here and find support. What was I thinking? I work 30 hours a week and try to juggle the kids, house stuff and trying taking care of myself. Im always trying to keep my marriage alive by spicing up our sex life and booking weekends away with my husband, but it often seems boring and routine. It was an important part of how they connected and when their sexual intimacy declined, it was no surprise that they began having the most serious of their marital difficulties. So the few times she would go out, he would feel left out and when she got back, he would pick on her and make her feel guilty about going out. While you may not have the in-laws of your dreams, his intervention can limit destructive behaviors on their behalf. He always tries to have female escorts, he . Defeating Divorce 2023 All Rights Reserved. Staying for the kids. I just want to give you a giant hug! So I MC on Jan 26 and the only thing thats been keeping me going is this isnt it for me we can try again when were ready. You now have the best chance to put this behind you and talk to him about your relationship and how you are going to put this right together and make it up to him. I think you can handle this gently by first acknowledging the good things he is doing and then explaining that it would be most helpful if he fully completed the job. How Can My Partner and I Better Manage Our Toddler's Tantrums? Reminder to Cassie Morris: You do not have permission to use, reproduce, modify or link to any content in this subreddit in any way, shape or form. Yesterday he swept half the kitchen because he was exhausted! I was the same as you. The worst part is his everyday smell makes me feel so sick I just feel like a horrible bitch. When I reached out to this woman to gain more insight into what else was going on in her marriage, she admitted that while her relationship was in a bad place, she had exaggerated her situation and emotional condition somewhat. The word obey has been removed from the marriage service, but sometimes it takes more than omitting a word to overcome centuries of tradition. In my world, its normal. And most importantly, I explained to her that her husband needs to learn that he too should also spend time away, doing things with his friends or by himself. You may wonder why you and your husband repeatedly have the same problems. Haha! Everything he does makes me want to strangle him. In a marriage -compromise, consideration and conversation are the three Cs Im going to reflect on. But when I told my husband, he seemed cool about it instead of going mad at me. Things have to be his way almost all the time. Every problem gets a personal reply, usually within 24 hours weekdays. We have 2 under 2 and life has been so stressful lately. Dont get me started on when he starts asking me to do stuff because hes holding baby. Her husband could be controlling and domineering and she resented that. Defeating Divorce is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for us to earn fees by linking to Amazon.com and any other affiliate sites. As soon as wed had sex I felt full of regrets, though hes a nice guy. ETA - Apparently I have pregnancy brain and messed up the title. I never thought hed be interested in me but the sexual chemistry was electric. I love him, but man he gets on my nerves!! Is it possible to save a frustrating and strained marriage like yours? Fast forward 20-plus years and two children later and I sit here looking at my life, yearning for that summer of love again. Can't stand my husband! this this! You can both learn how your actions have created this harmful cycle. But often, when people experience a big life change and retirement is certainly among the . Of course, much of this was compounded by the fact they spent far too much time together and this resulted in magnifying all of the things they didnt like about each other. He once told me that he doesnt think I am pretty anymore and should lose more weight. A Group Leader is a What to Expect community member who has been selected by our staff to help maintain a positive, supportive tone within a group. Speak clearly and directly. i was annoyed with him breathing the other day. In a way, men can be almost child like in their ignorance of understanding a womans view of sexual relations and vice versa. But the occasions in which she felt miserable in her marriage where far too frequent and she wanted to know what she could do about it. I can't stand to be around him anymore. 3. If you think seeing a therapist will help, then do it! omgosh literally took the words out of my mouth! . Philippas answer It is quite usual when we are unhappy to blame the person nearest to us, but your husband does appear to deserve some of your irritation. You dont want to simmer with resentment, you want to get to live your best life. It sounds weird too that he acts as if he can't hold it - I'd definitely look into a second opinion from a vet. Im 39 with two wonderful children, aged ten and 12, and I regard my husband as a best friend. I thought I had made the right decision to marry this man. The woman I was consultingwith was unhappy and miserable. We survived we've been together now 9 years and expecting baby number three! Instead, I find myself full of regret, with resentment bubbling deep inside. I dont want to lose him, but how long do I go on being unhappy in myself? Your husband sounds like a pig.. not you! I agree. women need to stop looking at chores like its only their responsibility. Im trying to figure out if its my hormones making me sensitive/ much less patient or am I stating to dislike him? Does he walk away once the attention comes to his actions? I'm 8 weeks pregnant and for the last week or so I have threw up everyday and not really a fan of food at the moment or certain smells. . The educational health content on What To Expect is reviewed by our medical review board and team of experts to be up-to-date and in line with the latest evidence-based medical information and accepted health guidelines, including the medically reviewed What to Expect books by Heidi Murkoff. I can't smell the stand of my husband! A few observations and adjustments could help change harmful patterns between you. I try to calm myself and be nicer but I'm finding it extremely hard. If you are having problems then you need to talk them through with your husband as . so hopefully it will pass for you too! Recently I heard from a lady who came to me in tears telling me she cant stand her husband. I just want out. I don't hate my husband but I definitely get a lot more annoyed with him for no reason at all. They will know how to help you out of the abusive situation discreetly. It can put an enormous strain on any marriage. She is a complete Karen who will literally demand a manager for every perceived sleight and it is fucking embarrassing as hell. Me too, if Im honest. According to your letter, you find her obnoxious. . It may be time to walk away. Many younger couples split housework evenly compared to their older counterparts. I am 6 months pregnant and usually work as a nurse 50hrs/ week and have a 3 year old. Many of these changes are necessary to the pregnancy, such as the belly and the breasts increasing in size. I have a 1 year old and I'm 8 weeks pregnant.I don't know if it's because I'm extra tired or what but with my first pregnancy I wasn't such an asshole. So if I leave him, he has nothing. Ive finally accepted that I made a huge mistake and am ready for divorce. What is one to do when you feel your love has turned completely into hate. When he is around I just have to leave because his presence makes me irrational and angry. I was always taught not to half ass anything growing up. 679215 Registered office: 1 London Bridge Street, London, SE1 9GF. He just strongly preferred she stayed home with him. DEIDRE SAYS:Or could it be that your husband realises that he doesnt want to lose you over one much-regretted mistake? I can't stop thinking about divorce and running away as far as I can from him. Its about coercive control and if it rings bells, get help. Look, it comes down to this. We haven't had sex since conception and haven't slept on the same bed. But for a marriage to work, both partners must respect each others priorities and provide support when needed. That is so stupid because he really cant do without me. He controls everything and I feel trapped and used. I left him before and we almost got a divorce. Lol. Thank you for responding everyone. But OMG since pregnancy he absolutely stinks! If he asks me why I'm so tired one more time I'll explode. Now it feels like he is smothering me and I can stand it. Just so tired of all of it. This is critically important. If I could just have a sliver of hope I would be so grateful. He cooked yesterday all the food was left everywhere and I specifically told him to wash his dishes and clean what he uses. I think you should have a convo with him and tell him how his actions are making you feel. He suggested we share a taxi home. Im 8 weeks pregnant and I cant stand my husband. Its healthy and normal to feel that way sometimes. I completely agree. Glad there is a place where we can spill our problems without hurting our relationships, yup exact same thing happened to me, if he even looked at me wrong i wouldnt wanna talk to him for 3 days, god forbid he say no to a food i was craving or didnt jump up immediately to help me if i needed it. If your sex life is flagging, my e-leaflet 50 Ways To Add Fun To Sex is packed with ideas. When times get tough, the spark grows dim. My Breastfeeding Toddler Doesn't Want to Wean. Before I got pregnant again things were going great. He only thinks of one thing these days (sex) and I guess that is all he believes I am good for. I was so horribly sick that everything my husband would do or say would make me mad. Either the abuse ends, or the marriage does. Pick & choose your battles. Everything doesnt require criticism or needs to be addressed. She would often get irritated with me for not being able to keep my hands to myself." "I still found her attractive, but I was terrified about the upcoming fatherhood and a little uncomfortable with the idea of having sex with her. Create an account to follow your favorite communities and start taking part in conversations. Saving a marriage after breaking a cycle of abuse is rare. Big mistake as she said, if I didnt tell my husband, she would. Being married to this man is like a sentence and I dont want to serve it anymore. One of the guys hadnt been working with us for long but he came along too. Im not going to suggest ways of bringing him round, that is not the point the point is that you must do what you need to do so that you dont get depressed and then blame him. Would you like your daughter to think she must do the bidding of her spouse even if to reach her potential she needed to do something else? The second he gets home, hes on the couch, snoozing, playing a video game or surfing the net. I was so shocked, I confided in my sister-in-law. In many ways, societal biases give direction by reinforcing more listening and communicative qualities with girls and more physical activities with boys. If you ask a couple about sex and affection, most people will respond and feel differently. Also wants me to buy big thing like a 2700 dollar treadmill now he wants a different bike, he says the one we have is a piece of junk but I have no problem with it. Sometimes pregnancy seems so lonely. Okay so I know I probably screwed up and people are mad that I didnt do this already but my LO has hated the crib.I slowly worked on getting his naps into the crib around Christmas. Many problems that seem overwhelming can be solved with good communication and cooperation. A Group Owner is a member that has initiated the creation of a group to connect with other members to share their journey through the same pregnancy & baby stages. His excuse is, he works and now I am home. It's 100% normal, don't worry, those feelings change once baby comes and you get back to yourself. The question We married young and quickly after a whirlwind summer. Clearly, his behavior represented a selfishness in the marriage around controlling her time. Not sure if my experience counts, because I had horrible hyperemesis gravidarum, but I can totally relate. She says she has no interest in sex with her husband because she is angry with him, hates him and cant stand being around him, yet you say she is witholding sex as a weapon! it eventually passed, but my hormones seemed to make me straight up homicidal most days. That would have been really intense. When a couple grows apart, intimacy becomes challenging to maintain. He will be more willing and ready to understand what he needs to do differently to please you. Maybe he doesnt either. If youre at risk, seek help from professionals like counselors and doctors, or call the abuse hotline. I still wish he could have checked a few more of my boxes. Mines is so lazy he leave diaper on the changing table , wipes he leaves it open while the air drys them out , we have a gsd and he don't even brush hes hair out , I clean every Friday the entire house when he's off work , but he frustrate me because he's taking care of the baby while I'm cleaning and the whole time my baby is crying that he's uncomfortable then it pisses me off that he can't even be a good responsible dad and he starts calling me toxic for that , what's wrong with them my bby daddy is trying to make me sound like the crazy one always . Why would any woman want to be with a man who insists that she cant do anything she wants? Cut your husband some slack and be nice to him, haha! We have very different ideas of what our partnership should be and no amount of talking, explaining how I feel, acknowledging his feelings, ever seems to change anything. He needs to make a COMPLETE change. Feb 17, 2023 at 10:45 PM. I still remember the very attractive blond Brad Pitt look alike hottie I dated for a few months in my younger years. Have a look at womensaid.org.uk. im probably being a bitch right now but I can't stand my husband right now, everything he does annoys me. The good news is you and your husband can change the course of your marriage together. IT is normal for our sexual reactions to slow down a bit as we age. I'm 8 weeks pregnant and I can't stand my husband. We strive to provide you with a high quality community experience. All they know is that if they are not getting it, they are unhappy and will tend to hold it against you. I cant stand my awful husband and am miserable, she declared. : I hope it's hormones but I feel some days I could leave this man and never turn back!! & you took the words out my mouth w/ were all human, so for every 1 thing our husbands do that annoy us, were doing just as many things that annoy him, too. Exactly!!! He was shocked but supportive and understanding. If he is coercing you to never change things or otherwise forcing you to live a life you dont wish to lead, then you need to get out or get him out and keep the children with you. If not checked, such little annoyances can grow to be larger problems. Help a BroMo out and give her an upvote, ok? Ive seen this childish attitude from men before they think of a woman is not giving him what he wants (sex) she must be doing it out of spite because whether or not she wants sex and how she would feel making love to someone she hates is irrelevant right? He is clueless. Do you hover over your husband, telling him how he needs to do things? As far as risk of separation and divorce, I believed the odds to be low. I would also have him checked out by a vet again - excessive peeing and accidents inside are signs of a possible UTI. He didnt realize until we discussed it so its possible your hubby just doesnt know how taxing it all is on you. 22/03/2020 08:26. We cant make clones of ourselves. What to Expect supports Group Black and its mission to increase greater diversity in media voices and media ownership. Resist the judgement. I never expect him to help me when he is working but when he is off he could at least pick up after himself. This can break any marriage apart. I am like his play thing. But the larger truth is my client figured out that her problem was not because her husband was a rotten scoundrel. What an ass!!! For us, that IS how we work as a team. To inquire about a licence to reproduce material, visit our Syndication site. Im the furthest thing from a lazy mom. Addiction is a serious and destructive problem. Keep the conversation on one topic, and dont switch subjects. He gets angry, dismisses your comment, and walks away. She went along with and for awhile it worked, until it didnt. Even if the abuse is only verbal, it can lead to physical violence. I cant believe this blog coached her to stay with a controlling, emotionally abusive person. I love him and I made a vow to him and our emotions are a little bit controllable. Please whitelist our site to get all the best deals and offers from our partners. Doesnt notice when I have done it. She explained that she has been married and feeling miserable for quite some time now and needed somebody to talk her down from some of her worst fears, emotions, and feelings. Group Owners uphold the core values of the brand by reporting content that violates the community guidelines. There were plenty of problems, many stemming from her husbands tendencies to control her life and his lack of sensitivity to her needs. Use of this site is subject to our terms of use and privacy policy. It doesnt get better. If you want something done YOUR way , you do it YOURSELF. Meaning you cant make ppl do things exactly our way. 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Healthy and normal to feel that way sometimes abusive person that everything my pregnant and i can t stand my husband but I can & x27. Complete Karen who will literally demand a manager for every perceived sleight it...
